Monday, December 11, 2006

Mahalaga pa ba ang ligawan?

Is courtship neccessary?

Yes. Courtship is an important stage for both parties to know each other without premature commitment.
 
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No. Courtship is obsolete.
 
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No. Courtship is full of pretention.
 
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Maybe. Depending on the seriousness of both parties.
 
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Other Answer.
 
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There is (was) a person i'm dating.  Gusto nya na na maging kami, and a couple of times sinabi nya na mahal nya ako.

I just laugh it off.  we only know each other for less than a month, and for me that person barely knows me.  i believe na ang sinasabihan nya ng "i love you" ay hindi ako, kundi ang illusion na ginawa nya about me.

Then, last thursday, i went to cebu.  when i came back last saturday, nakareceive ako ng group message.

"Ang saya dito sa antipolo, kasama ko bf ko"
-------------J., Text Messages

I know the other guy.  My date and I met him last tu
esday, so if i'm going to analyze, they only know each other for 5 days.

i'm not the type of guy that usually regret what i did, lalo na pag sa tingin ko pinag-isipan kong mabuti ang ginawa ko.  but this experience made me think, hard, if courtship is still necessary.

wat do u think?

51 comments:

lucky magno said...

bolahan stage kc ang panliligaw... u nid that to impress ur target... sabi nila pg nanliligaw p lng e mbait p ang nanliligaw... pg npasagot kn e dun mo p lng mkikita ang totoong ugali... wel, dapat ang malaman ng nililigawan e ung real purpose ng pnliligaw... meron kc n nanliligaw dahil tlgang gusto k nya, meron nman e gsto lng n my i-prove... or ms masama e gawin k lng trophy... bsta f ano trip mo, f san k masaya e suportahan kita... mgpaligaw k man o hindi, f tlgang kau, ky habahaba man ng txt msgs e s sent items p rin ang tuloy... APIR!

Aaron Nuñez said...

I really do not believe in courtship. I guess it is only applicable for heterosexual relationship. When it comes to that, my keyword is "spontaneity."

-Carlos Javier - said...

Amen Mik! I get that in the same circumstances too, and I always take it with a sackful of salt. Some people just seem to throw those three words around like confetti huh?

Miko Legaspi said...

thanks for the reply... iniisip ko tuloy, banat na lang ng banat. hahaha.

XXXX YYYY said...

bka naman yung i luv u nya means i lust u..hehe, d kaya?
so how's ur trip 2 cebu?

marco yu said...

maybe the proper term for that is exclusive dating kasi like what you've said he barely knows you so by this means it would bring you to a state that you and him would know each other deeply then if nag click kayo then take it to another level like nurse guy said it is only applicable to heterosexual relationship.

-Carlos Javier - said...

Ows... kami pa ngaun ang naging dahilan... hahaha!

lucky magno said...

part nga tlga cguro ng stage ng pgkakaroon ng special som1 ang panliligaw... db d k nman mg-aaksaya ng pawis f ala k nman tlgang gstong marating...f pambobola man un, s tingin ng nililigawan... or pambobola lng ung ginagawa mnya s personal n pananaw ng nanliligaw e bhla n cla dun... f positive ang epek at nahulog nman s bitag ang niligawan edi ok... pg hindi e sory.... anuman ang intention ng pnliligaw e nsa trip n un ng tao... bhla n cla...

Arjae Vitug said...

that sucks big time and man! the other guy is pathetic....tsk tsk tsk...

u cannot say "i love you" ng bsta bsta. u have to think about it before saying it...

illusion? hmm....

courtship? i guess its still necessary...and i guess its hard to find someone who would really do all the way to show how special you are to him/her....

Arjae Vitug said...

and when u find someone to court you....rare ang mga taong ganon..promise!

Arjae Vitug said...

oo nga i agree..ano nga ba ang purpose nung nanliligaw...

lucky magno said...

c? watusi? ikiskis mo, sisindi!

APIR!

Miko Legaspi said...

well, i used to believe that courship is a stage where you are

"more than friends, but less than lovers"
-------------Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye

when i was courting my xgf, it worked between us. alam na namin na may feelings kami sa isa't-isa. but we both know that feelings may not sustain a relationship that was not ground on true knowledge about the personality of one another. so we exclusively date, as marcoeezy puts it. without saying "i luv yous"

i just don't know why its not working in this current set up.

Arjae Vitug said...

naman!

for me courting is nice...id love to do that...the problem with other people is the intention why they are courting..the underlying intention..not just to impress, to get to know and etc...

Rynnel Tolosa said...

mahalaga p b ngaun ang ligawan? i dont think so... pro at some point pde n rin.. mahalga n din.. pro others dont like it na, coz kung mahal mo, edi kau na, pro others dont believe it... pro kung ako, okie lng klhit may ligawan or khit wala na.. whahahahaha...

Miko Legaspi said...

wwwaaahhh!!! ano ba talaga kuya? hahaha

Aaron Nuñez said...

I really find this silly...someone asked me, "Can I court you?" JEEZ!!! SHOULD THAT BE ASKED BA?!?!?! --- (stressed with all caps)

Miko Legaspi said...

well, asking "Can I Court you" is really silly. hahaha. but courtship itself, well, i don't think so (though now i'm having doubts).

Aaron Nuñez said...

Courtship need not to be asked, it is simply done!!! I don't understand the logic why they have to ask...for permission sake? Afraid of rejection? Whoever asked that kind of question to anybody, should be shot in the head and bleed to death!!!

Rynnel Tolosa said...

bakit p b kelangn ng courtship, e kung ndi rin pla kau magtatagal ryt? sayang ang effort mo for that matter.. pro bkit ganun.... ewan ko... bahal cla.. msaya cla dun eh...

kenneth ignacio said...

kadalasan naman kapag may nag-court sau... meaning nun hindi mo mashado gusto or ur not intrested on the person.. kc kung gus2 mo sia.. gus2 ka nia. bakit patatagalin pa?

Rynnel Tolosa said...

tama ka dun ha...

XXXX YYYY said...

j/w

go miko!

neway, dapat bago ka pa magcourt, mag-icp k n ng mabuti....

signs...

be specific...

mas ok na ung matagal bago ka nagcourt kesa namn court ka ng court tapos pag andun ka na sa process ng courtship, chaka mo marerealize na di pla xa gusto mo or meron kang ayaw sa kanya...

in short, di ko nasagot ung question mo... haha!

Miko Legaspi said...

well, thats the risk that you will have to face di ba.

Miko Legaspi said...

well, naniniwala po kasi ako na initial attraction will not sustain a relationship. kaya po kung gusto nya ako, gusto ko sya, then we enter courtship, kung saan we will try our best to deeply know each other. only after that, pagkilala na namin ang isa't-isa, saka kami magko-commit.

Miko Legaspi said...

nye.

ang tingin ko nga po,
kung gusto nya ko,
gusto ko sya,
then we date/court.

pagnakilala na namin mabuti ang isa't-isa, that's the time na magcommit kami. that we can finally say, "You are the person that i will love."

Aaron Nuñez said...

Going on a date, getting to know the person well, is already a form of courtship, I think so.

Basta, whoever invented this 'courtship' thingy, should be guillotined.

Miko Legaspi said...

sobra naman, hahaha.

Aaron Nuñez said...

Hehehe i know!!!!

Pero whatever your plans Miko, I hope you wouldn't ask that stupid question to your significant others. I'll hunt you down personally!

Just do it!!!!

Kristoffer Marlou Alcala said...

Iba pa rin ang "old school" kumbaga! I still prefer doing stuffs like snail-handwritten mails, flowers, chocolates, balcony moments and harana thing dedicated to my love one. Patok na patok pa rin yun sa mga PLU [people like us]That's part of the challenge, guys! kasi halos lahat na yata ngayon eh "INSTANT" ang gusto... mabilisan... paspasan...*sigh*

Kristoffer Marlou Alcala said...

Iba pa rin ang "old school" kumbaga! I still prefer doing stuffs like snail-handwritten mails, flowers, chocolates, balcony moments and harana thing dedicated to my love one. Patok na patok pa rin yun sa mga PLU [people like us]That's part of the challenge, guys! kasi halos lahat na yata ngayon eh "INSTANT" ang gusto... mabilisan... paspasan...*sigh*

Kristoffer Marlou Alcala said...

Iba pa rin ang "old school" kumbaga! I still prefer doing stuffs like snail-handwritten mails, flowers, chocolates, balcony moments and harana thing dedicated to my love one. Patok na patok pa rin yun sa mga PLU [people like us]That's part of the challenge, guys! kasi halos lahat na yata ngayon eh "INSTANT" ang gusto... mabilisan... paspasan...*sigh*

Kristoffer Marlou Alcala said...

Iba pa rin ang "old school" kumbaga! I still prefer doing stuffs like snail-handwritten mails, flowers, chocolates, balcony moments and harana thing dedicated to my love one. Patok na patok pa rin yun sa mga PLU [people like us]That's part of the challenge, guys! kasi halos lahat na yata ngayon eh "INSTANT" ang gusto... mabilisan... paspasan...*sigh*

Kristoffer Marlou Alcala said...

Iba pa rin ang "old school" kumbaga! I still prefer doing stuffs like snail-handwritten mails, flowers, chocolates, balcony moments and harana thing dedicated to my love one. Patok na patok pa rin yun sa mga PLU [people like us]That's part of the challenge, guys! kasi halos lahat na yata ngayon eh "INSTANT" ang gusto... mabilisan... paspasan...*sigh*

Kristoffer Marlou Alcala said...

Iba pa rin ang "old school" kumbaga! I still prefer doing stuffs like snail-handwritten mails, flowers, chocolates, balcony moments and harana thing dedicated to my love one. Patok na patok pa rin yun sa mga PLU [people like us]That's part of the challenge, guys! kasi halos lahat na yata ngayon eh "INSTANT" ang gusto... mabilisan... paspasan...*sigh*

Kristoffer Marlou Alcala said...

Iba pa rin ang "old school" kumbaga! I still prefer doing stuffs like snail-handwritten mails, flowers, chocolates, balcony moments and harana thing dedicated to my love one. Patok na patok pa rin yun sa mga PLU [people like us]That's part of the challenge, guys! kasi halos lahat na yata ngayon eh "INSTANT" ang gusto... mabilisan... paspasan...*sigh*

Kristoffer Marlou Alcala said...

Iba pa rin ang "old school" kumbaga! I still prefer doing stuffs like snail-handwritten mails, flowers, chocolates, balcony moments and harana thing dedicated to my love one. Patok na patok pa rin yun sa mga PLU [people like us]That's part of the challenge, guys! kasi halos lahat na yata ngayon eh "INSTANT" ang gusto... mabilisan... paspasan...*sigh*

Miko Legaspi said...

You can count on me on that. hahaha.

Miko Legaspi said...

Agree. Courtship is a nice stage for that.

XXXX YYYY said...

courtship is still applicable and still believe that it works.erase that mindset na "banat ng banat".it wont work and it can and will deprive your being to love and trust someone.a perfect person is intended for a perfect one.just allow yourself to absorb of the world has to offer.whatever that maybe,good or bad....good decision bro.me too,have many experiences as same as you had.iba lang sa kin is i turned them down when i sense something is just for fun.malakas kasi instinct ko.hehehehe.i dont regret to be alone cos i chose to be one.....hope we can be friends...

Miko Legaspi said...

thanks, nakaka high-morale.

Honey Federico said...

Nice one.... ur right..people tend to build personalities thru their illusions.... tuloy na iinlove sila dun.. only to realize, at the end na hindi tama ung illusyong nabuo nila... and they end up being dissapointed.....

Miko Legaspi said...

... frustrated...

and sometimes, regretful sa mga bagay na nagawa nila because nagpadala sila sa feelings based on the illusions. tsk.

Honey Federico said...

"The Only way to decrease too much frustration, is to decrease too much Expectation..."

Miko Legaspi said...

true true

'BillyBoi' ' said...

Ligawan makes you feel special though, it works on both parties, the other gets excited kung sasagutin ba or what not and the other party naman na nililigawan nakikilig lalo na kung gusto rin nya:) But on the other hand if you really want to spend the rest of your life to a relationship with commitment, it's not necessary, it's important that you understand each other and you feel the same way-

am i making sense?

juan paolo fernandez said...

i think courtship starts when you ask a guy to go out with you on a date... you wouldn't be asking a guy to go out with you on a second date if you didn't like him on your first date, right? it's plain stupid to go out with someone you dont really like... so when you continue to date a guy, courtship is underway. with homosexuals courtship is, i think, a two way process, with both guys doing their part to attract each other. every serious gay relationship go through the same process of courtship (in varying styles)... courtship is unavoidable... it is NESCESSARY.

so, if someone ask you to go out on a date with him it means that he likes you and wants to have a relationship with you (that's a fact)... go if you like him (or at least considering)... REFUSE if you dont... you would just be wasting his time and yours too. be honest to avoid complications (getting hurt or hurting the guy).

Miko Legaspi said...

hhhmmm, nice point.

"Me tama ka!!! Anong diskarte mo?"
"Aabante ako!!!"
-------------Kris Aquino, Game Ka Na Ba

juan paolo fernandez said...

thanks! so when rare you planning to go out with me? hehehe!

kidding! baka mi makabasa... magalit!

Miko Legaspi said...

hahaha, meron ngang magagalit, pero wala naman syang magagawa. hehehe. we are both free, dating pa lang naman kami. =P

juan paolo fernandez said...

Ahhh! Ok! thats good to hear!

btw, i like reading your sappy blogs... i like to think it's free from pretensions!
i just started building my owm place here... so basically there is nothing yet there. hoping to find some time to sit and write...

m serious 'bout going out with you on a date! bahala na kung mi magalit! hehehe!