Sunday, February 26, 2012

Parting from Billy

A book is not judged by the number of pages, but the quality of content. But a thick, multivolume book is more detailed, complex, and in its own way, fulfilling.

So i can't help being sorrowful. Darn you! You closed your book too early Billy. You left a wife, a son, a family, and a whole set of good friends mournful about your parting.

At first, when I heard of your passing, I was so mad i decided I won't talk to you forever. And you knowing this is me being silly (again), i decided to write you a blog that you won't/can't physically read, ever.

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?

Remember my character sketch about you? That you are my fox, unique in all the world for I have made you a friend. And for four years of intermittent communications, we remained still as friends, separated by distance, but closer in spirit.

I've seen you had a good life, not all laughs, but not all tears either. Not all excitement, and not all boring. A life of valleys, and mountain peaks, of sinkholes, and cliffs. And then, the universe took you.

Maybe it really is too early, Billy. But i'm glad to know you now have your well deserved final rest.

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

I bet you sought and found the secret of parting, Billy. You parted from us with your eyes closed, but heart opened. Thank you for sharing your heart, graciously.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Living Life to the Fullest

.attend wedding in intramuros at 0900H... another wedding, same day... 1500 at QC... gimik nyt with the entourage till 2200H... need to exit fast... travel to bataan midnight... will climb mt. tarac early morning.

"Di ko kaya ang ginagawa nyo sir,
Pagod na tayo d2 sa kasal,
akyat pa kayo ng bundok bukas?
My reply: Hehehe, live your life to the fullest.

...0830H training in security till 1130H, no break.... 1330H advance fire fighting till 1630H, no break... 1800H project making... 1900H special lesson... 2130H meeting with group leader... 2230H watch Spartacus with cadets.

Miko: "Sinong gustong gumawa nitong Breathing Aparatus Control Board? Saka itong anti-terrorist checklist?"
Cadet1: Kami Miks.
Cadet2: Miks, kami na lang!
Cadet3: Sir, kami kulang pa. Dapat kami ang gumawa!
Training Officer 1: Hala Sir Miko, anong ginawa mo sa mga kadete mo?! Bakit nag-aagawan ng trabaho? Sa department namin, nagtuturuan at nagpapasahan.
Cadet1: Nahawa kami ke Miko, W... Workaholic!
Miko: Xempre, living life to the fullest.

Work and Play in Palawan and Boracay in May. Attend Wedding in Ilo-ilo and join Multi-level Marketing in June. Vacation in Nueva Vizcaya or/and Cagayan in July. Trip to Pangasinan and/or Zambales in August. Finish design and construction of interior of own room and the family entertainment room in September.

... work.

Papa: Hindi ka napapagod 'nak? Para kang pating. galaw ka ng galaw...
Miko: Kaya nga 'pa. Para akong pating, mamatay ako pag huminto akong gumalaw.

Colleague: You need to find your anchor, or anything that can make you grounded. Mag-asawa ka na kaya?
Miko: No way!!! Marami pa akong gagawin!

Boss1: Miko-san. We like very much your contribution in the program. We believe that without you, it might collapse. But always remember, first priority... your health. We very much fear you overwork yourself. Please rest whenever needed. Understand?
Miko: Wakaremasu!

I'm thinking about it now. Maybe I do move around alot. That it's about time to find that relationship that can (at least in a way) keep my feet grounded. Or that badly needed rest. Maybe, all of them are right...

But if I stop, I won't feel i'm living. What I learned keeps me experiencing and creating. And the result of what I'm doing keeps me addicted. As my experience grows, so does my perspective, and meaning. As the places i've been to expanded, so my acquaintances grow numerous - including those moments I share with them in between.

In my work, I do not aim to be the
Best, I aim to be the Only one who can do it. In my family and friends I do not aim to be with them Everytime, but to be there in that very particular time when no one is around and they badly need someone. I do not simply want to leave this world with a Family, I aim to leave it with a Legacy.

And that, for me, is living life to the fullest. Spending my life on activities that can outlast it.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

After 3 Years!


Kung hindi dahil kay ericthespaceoutjunkie, hindi ko na uli mabibisita ang blog na to. i even forgot it existed. waahahah.

Now, what happened since I posted my Islander tsinelas??

Well, my Zero Dating for One Year Goal was successfully completed and extended till now (almost three years) T_T

I found out, pag nagzero ka sa lovelife, magzo-zoom ang career. And that was what happened. I got offered a project that sent me to Japan for training and to have a post-graduate studies in Solent University (UK). Hehehe.

I got my B- sa

I organized a non-profit org that assisted two orphanage one school.

Nah, i'm not bragging, I'm just saying I've been busy.

In fact, I was sssooo busy I've been branded "superman" by three different person (one friend, one boss and one potential date).

And since I'm already bragging (though I said I'm not), hehehe, i will post here how he described me:

"Days with Superman

Who? Yes Superman. I just met him. I know it's mythical to say. But even with my own eyes and experience I just knew him. He is unbelievably extra ordinary, mysterious, and rational. For some period in my life he flew right into my face to say "hi". That he is just around. Watching. Probably waiting? Well Clark Kent is unnoticeable right? Yes at first he is just a geeky Clark Kent that my eyes never lose a wink to linger. But he proved to me that there is more to Clark Kent. That he has great power. I never knew that. And as we know power comes with great responsibility. From then I never imagine putting my picture by the side of someone like Superman. It's because he's everybody's Superman. So who am I to have a constant space in his responsibility?

I'm just an ordinary citizen like Lois Lane. But far from being more than a bird and more than a plane, I know it's not easy to be him. Out of the hundreds of people he serve, Lois Lane just want to know if Superman's kryptonite will be on hand as key. And out of all the extra ordinary traits he has, would that include an extra ordinary feeling? He was never that normal, never was perfect, never was the ideal, never expected. I don't know if I should say if there's still "to be continued" at the next page of this comic book. But who knows. Lois lane will still be Lois lane.. will be just .. yes .. here .. waving for Superman. Waiting to land again right in front of my eyes... And smile.. "

Hehehehe, cheesy noh? Since he already claimed my powers and responsibility, I was inspired... To share what I experienced.

Thus, henceforth, pipilitin kong ma-update ang blog na to, at least twice and thrice a month. n_n

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

“I’m HIV Positive”

Kinilabutan ako.  Parang napunta uli ako sa Lithuania ng December (-17 Degrees Celsius).  I considered the effect – Anxiety, Hatred, Depression, Suicidal Tendency.  May taning na agad ang buhay, for someone so young.  Nakakapangilid ng luha.  

Ito ang mga naramdaman ko ng malaman kong HIV+ ang isa sa mga kakilala ko.  In my line of work, required kami sa regular medical check-up.  At ang paungas-ungas na testing center na pinuntahan nya, walang konsiderasyon na brinodcast ang condition nya.  

Sana hindi ko na lang nalaman.  Hindi ko alam kung papano mag-re-react sa harap nya.  Will I act normally, like nothing is wrong? Or will I show care and concern para maramdaman nyang I’m here not to discriminate but to help?  If I choose the latter, hindi ba sya mahiya, sa akin at sa sarili nya, and make matters worst.  

Hindi naman ako natatakot mahawa sa kanya (dahil wala naman akong planong may ibang “mamagitan” sa amin).  Hindi ko lang talaga alam ang tamang pakikitungo at papano ako makakatulong.  

Side facts:
“Hindi nakukuha ang HIV
mula sa paghahalikan, pagbebeso-beso,
laway, yakapan, pag-ubo,
pawis, luha, hatsing o pagbahing,
pakikipagkamayan, paghihiraman ng mga damit,
pakikisalo sa pagkain, paghiram ng mga kubyertos,
kagat ng lamok, pagtabi sa pagtulog,
at paggamit ng kubeta."

With these in mind, hindi ako kinakabahan.  Lalo na kung ia-apply natin agad ang ABCDE to minimize risk of contracting any form of STD.  

A:  Abstinence.  Sa lalaking tagalog, it means “magkamay”.  Hehehe.  Dati, ang philosophy ko, kung walang babaeng available, at kung may cute guy naman na pwede, bakit ako magsosolo?  (wahahaha, but that was before ako makabili ng murang maturity sa Quiapo).  Now I believe, kung hindi ako sure na safe sya, at hindi ko talaga sya gusto, it’s better na magsolo kesa magkasakit.  

B:  Be Faithful.  Hindi na uso ang paramihan ng makakasex ngaun.  I would like to promote patagalan.  How long is your… (no, not your package) longest relationship.  It’s not the quantity of the people that you had or the flowers you traveled to, but the quality of the relationship and the sweetness of its nectar.  

C:  (Correct) Condom Use.  This one should be non-negotiable.  Pag walang supot, walang kan*ot (No ID, No Entry? Hehehe).  Sometimes, it’s always better to bring this little rubber armor of yours.  Kesa biglaan kang makipag-inuman… at malasing.. and who knows how crazy you can get when you’re drunk.  

D:  (Don’t Use) DrugsZero tolerance ako dito (pati smoking).  So walang syringes na pumapasok sa katawan ko (except the vaccines that my company can think of).  And those poppers and Es...  Bahala na kayo.  

E:  Early Diagnosis and Treatment.  Maliban sa company ko na regular required medical check-up, I have my friends/sponsors na lagi akong kinukulit sa check-up.  “Pinag-aaral ka namin.  We’re investing on you, so you can’t die on us yet.”  Thoughtful friends no?  

So bottom-line, let us all be aware about this threat.  HIV and AIDS are truly here!  Hindi ito tsismis na mapapanood mo lang sa TV or mababasa sa mga blog (na katulad ng site ko).  Hindi ito kaya ng biogesic, surgery, dasal at kung ano pang treatment.  Now, it is as real as the person next to me.   


Monday, January 4, 2010

Looking Back and Forward

As part of my personal New Year tradition, i'm looking back sa goal na na-iset ko last year, and will make new goals for this year.

Mabulabog ang 2009, pero all in all, may malaking growth sa career.  Zero talaga ang lovelife, either may iba na ang gusto ko or hindi ako gusto.  Ang may gusto naman sa akin; may asawa, injanong panot, o may kakulangan sa pag-iisip.

All in all, eto ang summary ng goals versus achievement ko.

1.  Dating
Nagkatotoo ang hula sa lovelife ko for the whole 2009.  Zero the whole year.  sana magkatotoo uli ang hula nya na mamayagpag naman ako this year.  wahahaha.

2.  Published Magazine
I only manage to made one (agains the goal four).  hehehe.  On draft ang 2.  Although hindi ako kasama sa feature story, i got two photos naman from different articles. wahaha.  Na-feature na rin naman ako sa isang tv show about my work at naextra sa isang international magazine, kaya ok na un.  wahahaha.

3.  Raise networth --% of last year's value.
wahahaha.  i don't wanna brag.  kaya ngiti-ngiti na lang ako d2.

4.  Campings (tour belt)
Hehehe.  Actually, mejo masama din ang napapasobra.  Four campings lang ang planned ko d2, pero it was extremely difficult to resist the allure of Coron and Caramoan Island.  Huhuhu.  Malaki din ang gastos.  But the experience is worth it.

5.  Put up a non-profit org
Well, i'm the current president of the board of trustees.  hehehe.  managed to support 2 orphanages and launch different activities.

6.  Blog!
Well, need i say more?  Hindi ko akalain na fulfilling the other dreams would leave me no time to do this one.  And since i failed on Dating, so i guess wala nang mag-iisip na me kinakarir ako kaya hindi ako nakapag-blog.  hehehe.

So if i will compute the figures, 73.2% ang achievement ko sa stated goal.  Plus, meron akong hidden goals that passed me.  wahahaha.

Now, for this 2010 i have Three Guiding Words

1.)  Increase my weight, adding 22lbs before the year end.  hehehe.  It also includes increasing stamina.  Hhhmm.  10 laps in the pool or 3 rounds in the academy?  both tough.  T_T

2.)  Make a passive income! Kahit 3 figures lang per month.

1.)  Start dating!  wahahaha.  I'll expand my contacts and maintain it. Maybe go out to city 2x a month.

2.)  Expand my Interest.  Start practicing again photography and marksmanship.  Hehehe.  I have a DSLR na, sniper riffle na lang ang kulang. At kung matutuloy ang pakikipagdate ko, i'll have 3 different "shootings" to do. wahaha.
1.)  Make life more colorful.  I'm scheduled to study in Solent University, UK in june.  Will do my best to make it a blast.  Maintain 4 campings a year.  Add another 2 in my Tour Belt.

2.)  Perform community service.  Hehehe.  Hindi naman nabibili ang halo, pinagtatrabahuhan. hahaha.  Nah, i'm not religious, but helping out really ligthen up my life.  continue support of one orphanage, and 3 other activities.

Now, that is my Goal this year.  Strengthen - Broaden - Brighten Two Thousand Ten!


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I Am Human

Yes, you might have labels for me,
But it is from your ignorance or your laziness
And never will be my limitation.

You named me for the things you do not know
Or for the things you are too lazy too seek.

I am not gay because I had sex with a man
And I am bi because I had sex with a woman and a man.
I am just a human who had sex.

Will you say I am a guitarist
Because I know how to play one song with guitar?
Or will you say to the bird he is a tweeter
Because daily he tweets?

Surely you will not,
A bird is a bird,
And I am human

If it is easier for you to put me in a category
And conjure illusions of what and who I am
And predicts my future for what I did in the past
Then you, though welcome, I do not seek.

But if it is you who have a clean slate of mind
Willing and ready to discover
The weaknesses and greatness of my humanity,
Come walk with me in this path for growth.
Let us ease each other’s burden.
And lift each other up,
And soar toward heaven.

my oldest recorded freeverse poem. hahaha. feb 2006.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Ang Kapalaran ni Miko Ayon sa Manghuhula

Sometime last January, hinulaan ako ni Mrs. Alminaza,

“Dahil Water ka at Earth ang taon ngaun,
Hindi magiging maganda ang love life mo.
Laging makikialam ang career.”

At tumpak ang hula nya.  Dahil February 2009, pinadala ako sa Japan ng company ko ngaun.  At sunod-sunod na business trip for the whole six months.  Ayus ang career, it’s really taking off.  But lovelife?  Zero.  November na ngaun, at malabo naman ang mga prospect.

During lunch today - Nov 18 2009 - I asked again the Fortune Teller.

“Dahil water ka at metal next year,
Makakakita ka ng success sa hahanapin mo.
At tandaan mo tong sasabihin ko,
Apat na taon kang mamamayagpag
Basta’t maging honest ka lang at wag maging negative.”

Wahahaha!!! May ganun!  Xet!  Sobra naman akong natuwa.  Honesty and Positivity?  Well, yakang-yaka yun.

In preparation for my upcoming lovelife next year, hinihingi ko sa Universe ang Guy na kukulitin ko for four years (and hopefully for life) hehehe.  Eto ang hinahanap ko:

AYOKO ng maarte at reklamador.
GUSTO ko ng maisasama ko sa bundok, mapapahiga ko sa banig at mapapakain ng tuyo o sardinas.

AYOKO ng tamad at walang trabaho. wala akong pakialam sa sasahudin nya,
GUSTO ko lang, pag nakita kami ng ibang tao, walang mag-iisip na may money involved.

AYOKO ng astig or mas maangas sa akin.
GUSTO ko ung hindi masyadong halata, pero he knows he is the "lady" in the relationship.

AYOKO ng malaki ang katawan.
GUSTO ko yung mejo payat. yung tipo na pag-nagkasauntukan kami, hindi ako dehado. (i'm not violent, contingency plans lang, hehehe).

and finally,

AYOKO ng sobrang gwapo. hindi ako kampante.
GUSTO ko yung pwede kong maiwan sa gimikan ng walang masyadong makikipag-flirt sa kanya.

Yan na Universe.  Mukang pang X’mas Gift ang hinihingi ko, pero kahit late, mahihintay ko.  Hehehe

Items "I'm Looking for a Guy" is a reposted entry in my Downelink account.  Photocredits to cemac from