On Love and Relationship

Wag nyo kong awayin sa maasim na isinusulat ko.  Eto ang epekto ng more than 17 months of Zero Dating.  I just wanna share my whole concept of love and relationship summarized eloquently by a poem:

After a While
by Veronica Shoffstall

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul

Dito ako madalas na nadadale, hahaha.  Marami kasing nagpapanggap na nagmamahal, but they mistaking to Love and to Own.  Maraming humihintong magmahal, dahil hindi sila minamahal.
I remember one time, i said, "I love you."
the other person said, "I'm sorry, I can't"
at sabi ko, "That is irrelevant.  ang sabi ko mahal kita, sinong may sabing dapat mahalin mo ako?"
and when that person smiled, our relationship continues till now, 7 years and counting.  But sure way it's different from everyone thinks. n_n

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises

Isa lang ang lesson dito.  Wag mag-assume!  Maraming taong napa-praning pero friendship, companionship or libog lang pala ang gusto sa kanila ng iba.  Iba't-iba ang level ng pag-aasume.  Eto ay ang sumusunod.
Level 1 - Eto ang pinaka mababang level.  Ni-view lang ng crush mo ang profile mo, in-assume na na na me gusto rin xa sau.
Level 2 - Nginitian ka, at meron kayong small talks.  Feeling mo, misis ka na nya.
Level 3 - You did hang-out sa coffee shop or bars.  Tapos mang-aaway ka pag may nakita kang pinapa-cute-an nya.
Level 4 - Me "nangyari" na sa inyo isang beses after 3 bottles of beer.  Nag-eempake ka na kinabukasan to move in his apartment.
Level 5 - Highest level.  Eto ang the best.  Halos manhid ka na.  You are more than friends na, pero you still believe your less than lovers. 

Kaya para sa kin, it's better na maging manhid, kesa mag-assume (formula is assumption = expectation + disappointment + pahiya ka noh?).

And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of an adult
Not the grief of a child

Eto naman ang anti-asim at anti-ampalaya lecture.  Sa tuwing maha-heartbroken ka, isang buntong hininga lang yan.  Na parang natalo sa jack-en-poi.  Sabi ni Paolo Coelho, you just need seven days to grieve, after nun, nag-iinarte ka na lang.  (Ang record ko is 3 days, hahaha).

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

Eto ang lesson ng living in the present.  Wag bayaang ma-trap sa past, wag bayaang ma-stuck sa future.  Today is a gift, that's why they call it present.

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much

Eto ang ipinayo ko sa girlfriend ng barkada ko na masyadong possesive.  Nagtaka sya kung bakit sya pinagpalit ng friend ko, despite ginawa nya ang lahat.  I told her, "yon ang problema mo, ginawa mo ang lahat.  $$$$, girlfriend ka lang.  hindi ka yaya, bodyguard, nanay, drinking buddy, labandera, kusinera or what-else ng barkada ko.  girlfriend ka, you should just be like one."

So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

Eto ang loving-yourself part, and my favorite.  Kanina i received a message from a guy whom i'm considering to date.  He noticed na parang dumadalang daw ang messages ko.  Nagpapaalam na raw ba ako?  O sumusuko?  Natatawa lang ako.  Hahaha.  Yes, i'm waiting for him na maka-move on sya from his previous relationship, but it doesn't mean na sa kanya na iikot ang mundo ko. 

And you learn
That you really can endure (Yes!)
That you are really strong (Sobra!)
And you really do have worth (Precious!)
And you learn and you learn (addict sa learning)
With every good bye you learn.

yan, goodbye daw.  sana you have learned something.

till next time.  n_n