Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Anatomy of a Suicide Letter

Finaly, last part na to ng suicide theme ko for this month. Para sa hindi nakakaalam, check Part 1 and Part 2. Sa post na ito natin idi-discuss kung papano gumawa ng suicide letter. Kaya, read on!

Effective Writing and Suicide Letter
By: Dr. Miko Legaspi, PhD
Professor of Advance Literature and Salesman of Slightly-used Burial Gowns and Barongs

Now, convince ka na na magpapatiwakal ka (reasons) at nakapagplano ka na rin ng magandang method. Pero bago mo ituloy ang plano mo, kailangan mo munang gumawa ng Spectacular Suicide Letter.

Hahatiin natin ito sa dalawang part, ang content at presentation.

Presentation
Maari mong ipahayag ang saloobin mo sa maraming paraan. Ang makabago ay ang Death Video. Ang classic ay suicide letter.

Creative naman (pero ngaun masyado nang common) ang pagsusulat sa mirror, bathroom wall gamit ang sariling dugo. Effective ito dahil shocking (at gruesome, eeww) kaso, sabon at konting scrub lang, mabubura na ang makabagbag-damdaming saloobin mo. We need something that will remain for quite a long time.

Death video works fine, kaso mas matagal ang production kung ie-edit mo pa at lalagyan ng sounds and kick-ass
graphics. Pero biglang sikat ka dito lalo na kung malalagay mo sa Youtube.

So if you wanna go traditional, back to basic tayo sa letter. Maari kang gumamit ng colorful, flowery at scented paper with matching metallic glittering ink pen, kaso it terribly ruins the mood. Mas effective ang parchment or handmade papers. At kung may background ka sa calligraphy, use a fountain pen. Pwede mo ring sunugin ang gilid ng papel for a nice effect.

Content
Gawin mong maikli ang sulat mo. Dahil kung lalampas ng
3 pages ang suicide letter, maaring umupo pa sa gilid ng kama ang babasa, kumuha ng merienda, magkamot ng singit at pahikab-hikab na tapusin ang sinulat mo. You don’t want that to happen, do you? Kailangan pagkabasa nya, isang minuto lang, sisigaw na sya ng “Hinddeee!!!” Sabay papalahaw ng iyak.

Sample:
“Goodbye Philippines, Goodbye boring world!”

Generally, ilalabas mo lahat ng gripes at bitterness mo sa suicide letter. This is your chance na manisi at mangonsensya. Kaso, ang mang-away sa huling sulat mo isn’t going to win you friends and influence people. Palayain mo na ang mga friends at family mo sa guilt na sila naman talaga ang may kasalanan. Ang effective na paraan para gawin yan ay manisi ng iba, at the same time, makacontribute sa kapakanan ng sangkatauhan.

Sample:
“Goodbye Philippines, the shampoo commercial ‘ang lambot’ felt I was being mocked to death, so I choose to kill myself instead”

Sa paraan sa taas, maaari mong maipatigil ang pagpapalabas ng nakakainis na commercial. Other suggestion includes Barney and Friends o kaya a Miracle Crusade ng isang televangelist.

Dapat mo ring panatilihin ang humor at mystery. Hindi porke’t magsu-suicide ka na ay may karapatan ka nang maging boring at madrama.

Sample:
“Hi guys, I will just hang out in my room, literally, hahaha. Lolz”
Or
“Nagsuicide ako, di pa nila makita ang katawan ko, nasa ilalim yata ng kama mo. Hahaha.”

Yan, I hope I gave you enough ideas.

If you wish an easy way, magdownload ka ng Microsoft Word Suicide Wizard. It works like this:
Funny Pictures

O kaya, magcomment ka ng suicide note mo here in my site for my review and suggested revisions.

Till next time.

=)



23 comments:

-nabski- Hernandez said...

cool. :))

gaganda ng entries mo

white rabbit mercado said...

naalala ko ung suicide tips sa paboritong aklat ni hudas wroye by me beloved bob ong.......hmmmmmm....

Miko Legaspi said...

hehehe, salamat po. =)

Miko Legaspi said...

yup, i think i saw that too.
favorite ko rin yang si kumpareng bob ong,
but i try very hard not to rewrite his articles.
idol namin parehas si
Robert "Bob" Fulghum

Jethro Yasis said...

hmmmm. I'll try this one.

Jethro Yasis said...

Kaya namn pala! Bob Ong fan din pala kau. Next time try mo rin ipublish blog entries mo. nung nabasa ko ABNKKBSNPLAKo?! eh akala ko hindi pwedeng aklat yun (hahaha! Hi Uncle Bob :-) peace!) pero pwede pala at naging hit pa sa mga taong tulad kong malalim na mababaw.

Miko Legaspi said...

Yup, fave ko si Bob Ong,
then nung nabasa ko works ni Fulghum,
nawalan ako ng gana.
i thought original yung style ni Bob.
then i read "Stainless Langgonisa"
sinabi nya, humbly, na fan sya ni Fulghum

then boom, hehehe
pinahanga nya ko.
at hindi na ako na guilty
sa similarities ng style namin.

=)

Jethro Yasis said...

Ang Paboritong Aklat ni Hudas na lang hindi ko nababasa.
Yun na lang kulang sa BOBOng koleksyon ko. =)
Maging favorite ko rin kaya un?

Miko Legaspi said...

Ang kay Hudas ang Paborito ko. hehehe

Jethro Yasis said...

hmmm... kelanga ko nang mabasa yan. Tutal may pagka-Hudas din ako. St Jude naman hehee =)

alphie garing said...

hmmm... next ko plng bbsahin iyan. So far, Stainless Longganisa and A B N K K B S N P L ako? are the ones that I already read. The second one that I read was really an inspiring one especially for those who would like to enter in the education system. =)

miko legaspi said...

true, malaki ang impact ng ABNK sa school system, at yung Stainless nman, recomended for writers.

alphie garing said...

yeah... hehe! =)

Mikhail Kevin Laurel said...

hahaha gawa mo ako... joke :))

-Barry- Fuentes said...

this would seem to be my resignation letter, not my suicide note.

GeLo Ronquillo said...

miko miko >:D<
hehe...

angelito aseneta said...

Galing!!! ^_^ ahahahaha!!! gusto ko ung part na...

“Hi guys, I will just hang out in my room, literally, hahaha. Lolz”
at
“Nagsuicide ako, di pa nila makita ang katawan ko, nasa ilalim yata ng kama mo. Hahaha.”

nakakapangilabot na nakakatawa ^_^

Miko Legaspi said...

hala! hahaha.

Miko Legaspi said...

madrama yung resignation letter ko, hehehe. saka wlang gripes, dahil may plano pa kong deal with this company after i leave, hehehe.

Miko Legaspi said...

gelo gelo >:D<
hehe...

Miko Legaspi said...

salamat al.

ano bang sked mo? i have business related issues to discuss, hehehe.

frank hunkenstein said...

Sobrang funny! Ba't ngaun ko lang nabasa ito!!!??? hehe. I must've missed it before... anyway, keep up, Miko!

miko legaspi said...

hahaha, thanks. antagal ko na yang na post. hindi pa nga nasusundan. =)