“I’m HIV Positive”

Kinilabutan ako.  Parang napunta uli ako sa Lithuania ng December (-17 Degrees Celsius).  I considered the effect – Anxiety, Hatred, Depression, Suicidal Tendency.  May taning na agad ang buhay, for someone so young.  Nakakapangilid ng luha.  

Ito ang mga naramdaman ko ng malaman kong HIV+ ang isa sa mga kakilala ko.  In my line of work, required kami sa regular medical check-up.  At ang paungas-ungas na testing center na pinuntahan nya, walang konsiderasyon na brinodcast ang condition nya.  

Sana hindi ko na lang nalaman.  Hindi ko alam kung papano mag-re-react sa harap nya.  Will I act normally, like nothing is wrong? Or will I show care and concern para maramdaman nyang I’m here not to discriminate but to help?  If I choose the latter, hindi ba sya mahiya, sa akin at sa sarili nya, and make matters worst.  

Hindi naman ako natatakot mahawa sa kanya (dahil wala naman akong planong may ibang “mamagitan” sa amin).  Hindi ko lang talaga alam ang tamang pakikitungo at papano ako makakatulong.  

Side facts:
“Hindi nakukuha ang HIV
mula sa paghahalikan, pagbebeso-beso,
laway, yakapan, pag-ubo,
pawis, luha, hatsing o pagbahing,
pakikipagkamayan, paghihiraman ng mga damit,
pakikisalo sa pagkain, paghiram ng mga kubyertos,
kagat ng lamok, pagtabi sa pagtulog,
at paggamit ng kubeta."
------------Wikipedia  

With these in mind, hindi ako kinakabahan.  Lalo na kung ia-apply natin agad ang ABCDE to minimize risk of contracting any form of STD.  

A:  Abstinence.  Sa lalaking tagalog, it means “magkamay”.  Hehehe.  Dati, ang philosophy ko, kung walang babaeng available, at kung may cute guy naman na pwede, bakit ako magsosolo?  (wahahaha, but that was before ako makabili ng murang maturity sa Quiapo).  Now I believe, kung hindi ako sure na safe sya, at hindi ko talaga sya gusto, it’s better na magsolo kesa magkasakit.  

B:  Be Faithful.  Hindi na uso ang paramihan ng makakasex ngaun.  I would like to promote patagalan.  How long is your… (no, not your package) longest relationship.  It’s not the quantity of the people that you had or the flowers you traveled to, but the quality of the relationship and the sweetness of its nectar.  

C:  (Correct) Condom Use.  This one should be non-negotiable.  Pag walang supot, walang kan*ot (No ID, No Entry? Hehehe).  Sometimes, it’s always better to bring this little rubber armor of yours.  Kesa biglaan kang makipag-inuman… at malasing.. and who knows how crazy you can get when you’re drunk.  

D:  (Don’t Use) Drugs.  Zero tolerance ako dito (pati smoking).  So walang syringes na pumapasok sa katawan ko (except the vaccines that my company can think of).  And those poppers and Es...  Bahala na kayo.  

E:  Early Diagnosis and Treatment.  Maliban sa company ko na regular required medical check-up, I have my friends/sponsors na lagi akong kinukulit sa check-up.  “Pinag-aaral ka namin.  We’re investing on you, so you can’t die on us yet.”  Thoughtful friends no?  

So bottom-line, let us all be aware about this threat.  HIV and AIDS are truly here!  Hindi ito tsismis na mapapanood mo lang sa TV or mababasa sa mga blog (na katulad ng site ko).  Hindi ito kaya ng biogesic, surgery, dasal at kung ano pang treatment.  Now, it is as real as the person next to me.   

Ingat?!

Looking Back and Forward

As part of my personal New Year tradition, i'm looking back sa goal na na-iset ko last year, and will make new goals for this year.

Mabulabog ang 2009, pero all in all, may malaking growth sa career.  Zero talaga ang lovelife, either may iba na ang gusto ko or hindi ako gusto.  Ang may gusto naman sa akin; may asawa, injanong panot, o may kakulangan sa pag-iisip.

All in all, eto ang summary ng goals versus achievement ko.

1.  Dating
Nagkatotoo ang hula sa lovelife ko for the whole 2009.  Zero the whole year.  sana magkatotoo uli ang hula nya na mamayagpag naman ako this year.  wahahaha.

2.  Published Magazine
I only manage to made one (agains the goal four).  hehehe.  On draft ang 2.  Although hindi ako kasama sa feature story, i got two photos naman from different articles. wahaha.  Na-feature na rin naman ako sa isang tv show about my work at naextra sa isang international magazine, kaya ok na un.  wahahaha.

3.  Raise networth --% of last year's value.
wahahaha.  i don't wanna brag.  kaya ngiti-ngiti na lang ako d2.

4.  Campings (tour belt)
Hehehe.  Actually, mejo masama din ang napapasobra.  Four campings lang ang planned ko d2, pero it was extremely difficult to resist the allure of Coron and Caramoan Island.  Huhuhu.  Malaki din ang gastos.  But the experience is worth it.

5.  Put up a non-profit org
Well, i'm the current president of the board of trustees.  hehehe.  managed to support 2 orphanages and launch different activities.

6.  Blog!
Well, need i say more?  Hindi ko akalain na fulfilling the other dreams would leave me no time to do this one.  And since i failed on Dating, so i guess wala nang mag-iisip na me kinakarir ako kaya hindi ako nakapag-blog.  hehehe.

So if i will compute the figures, 73.2% ang achievement ko sa stated goal.  Plus, meron akong hidden goals that passed me.  wahahaha.

Now, for this 2010 i have Three Guiding Words

STRENGTHEN
1.)  Increase my weight, adding 22lbs before the year end.  hehehe.  It also includes increasing stamina.  Hhhmm.  10 laps in the pool or 3 rounds in the academy?  both tough.  T_T

2.)  Make a passive income! Kahit 3 figures lang per month.

BROADEN
1.)  Start dating!  wahahaha.  I'll expand my contacts and maintain it. Maybe go out to city 2x a month.

2.)  Expand my Interest.  Start practicing again photography and marksmanship.  Hehehe.  I have a DSLR na, sniper riffle na lang ang kulang. At kung matutuloy ang pakikipagdate ko, i'll have 3 different "shootings" to do. wahaha.
 
BRIGHTEN
1.)  Make life more colorful.  I'm scheduled to study in Solent University, UK in june.  Will do my best to make it a blast.  Maintain 4 campings a year.  Add another 2 in my Tour Belt.

2.)  Perform community service.  Hehehe.  Hindi naman nabibili ang halo, pinagtatrabahuhan. hahaha.  Nah, i'm not religious, but helping out really ligthen up my life.  continue support of one orphanage, and 3 other activities.

Now, that is my Goal this year.  Strengthen - Broaden - Brighten Two Thousand Ten!

n_n