The Right To Grow

Ito ang Unang Right, but it doesn't mean other (following) rights are inferior. Check this Preamble for intro, continue reading for explanation of this right.

Both partners must allow
Each other the freedom to grow
Even that freedom
Is a threat to the relationship

Pag pinipigilan ng isang partner na makamit ang fullest potential ng other party, pinapakawala nito ang pinaka “undermining force” sa isang relationship. Parang sinasabi nya: Dapat kang manatili kung sino mang gusto ko na maging ikaw. You must always stay the same. Ang purpose mo sa buhay ay kung ano man ang tingin ko dito. And your growth is a threat to me.

Ang paglalagay ng restrictions sa pagyabong ng kapareha mo ay isang malaking pagkakamali. Relationship should be a place where two people share the experience of helping each other become more than they were when their relationship started. Hindi ito kulungan. Hindi hostage ang partner, at hindi ransom ang Love na ginagamit na kondisyon as long as the other party stays the same.

And loving is not just permitting, tolerating, understanding and supporting. Sabi nga ni St. Exupery, “love is leading you gently back to yourself”. You should love NOT ONLY what the other is, but also what he can BECOME.

Pag naramdaman mo na may parte ka ng sarili mo na gustung-gusto mo pero napipilitan kang itago sa partner mo, then the relationship is in serious trouble. Hindi ba masakit, ang masabihan ka ng kapareha mo na “Pinigilan mo akong maging Ako.”

Threatening man sa simula, helping your partner grow and find himself always makes a relationship stronger. Ang partner ay magiging less dependent and less possessive. Mananatili sila sa relationship kasi gusto talaga nila na magsama. Kahit na malaya at may karapatan sila na magtagal o umalis, pinili nila na manatili and to grow old together.

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For R.M., hindi ako in-luv, hehehe, just sharing what i have that you want to learn. Photocredits to imShrimp from deviantart.